The Kink Games
@ Collared
On this auspicious year we celebrate the glory of kink with our very own Games.
To commemorate the ancient Olympian spirit we will be seeking to nurture the qualities of endurance, strength, agility, skill and stealth. Remember though that we in no way seek any association with the "official" Olympics that are currently prosecuting anyone who dares use this ancient word without an expensive license. Ours is far more true to history.
The games will be conducted at various times over two consecutive Collared nights. Anyone can enter. Again in the old spirit we encourage nakedness, and all naked flesh must be rubbed with olive oil (yes, believe it or not, they used to insist on that).
We'll announce the final programme at the end of June. In the meantime, as a taster, here are some of the Games we are considering:
Testicle powered chariot racing
In this unique game the rider, sitting astride an office chair chariot resplendent in gold, grips his steed by the balls and is pulled along the length of the club in competition with other riders.
Weightlifting
A bucket is attached to the balls and other sensitive body parts and gradually filled. Last man standing wins.
Handball
Our own very special adaptation of the popular sport in which the balls are lightly slapped with a plastic ruler.
The ten metre crawl
Competitors have their arms and legs bound and race against each other in a worm-like fashion to the finish line.
Dildo shotput
Competitors' arms are tied behind their back and are judged according to the distance and direction that they can hurl a dildo from their mouth.
Bum Hoopla
Place a protruding dildo in a willing bum and see who can toss the rings with greatest accuracy
Whip endurance
Competitors stand on one leg in a marked circle and are flicked with wet tea towels until they give up or are forced outside the circle.
Naked sumo oil wresting
Does what it says on the tin. Competitors fight to force their opponent out of the circle.
Penis gymnastics
A dainty ribbon is attached to the cock and competitors are judged for the skill of their penile gyroscopics .
Best rope work
A challenge to see who can produce the highest quality work in the shortest time
Best of Show
Pups, here is a chance to show what your masters can do. The pups will lead their masters though an array of obstacles and tricks. The best performing master will win best in show. B.t.w. Pups, you still have to stay in pup mode (in all 4s and not words) while leading their masters in master mode. Each pair will go after the last pair completed. Judging by audience or judges...you decide.
Foot licking
Contestant will be matched up with someones foot that is very similar size to theirs. The volunteers one foot will be soaked in something to mid ankle. Examples, jam (hahaha get it, toe jam), ketchup, sugar but not good for diabetics, etc... The foot is placed in front of the kneeling contestant and when the buzzer goes off, the contestant licks that foot as clean as he can in a certain time like 1 or 2 minutes. Judges determine who the winner is giving most points for overall cleanliness. High points for contestants that can clean in between toes especially between the pinky toe. I personally suggest black currant jam for contrast and for finals, go with something thick like peanut butter [
